This was when I was travelling with a couple of friends from another friend's place to mine. We were looking for auto-rickshaws and finally got one. Since we were discussing random stuff, we continued our conversation with him listening, unknown to us.
"Yeah, Bill Gates allegedly had been having a flying car designed for himself since years now."
"Dude that'd be insanely cool."
"Yeah....but who'd give him a license? Think about it. Wouldn't he need to be a pilot instead of a driver's license?"
And in the middle of this intellectual discussion our dear auto driver butts in,
Auto Driver : "Humne suna hain Reliance bana raha hain flying car"
(I've heard Reliance Industries is building a flying car)
Us : "Accha? Humne to aisa kuch nahi suna?"
(Is that so? We've never heard anything about this)
AD : "Haan tumhe pata nahi woh pacchees crore mein nikalne wale hain gaadi. Par fir beta problem ho jayegi, fir traffic kaun sambhalega. Jab bhi saamne koi gaadi aayegi apna toh bas uda ke le jaana hoga."
(Yes, you know nothing; they're going to launch it at about INR 25, 00, 00, 000 but we will have a lot of problems then. Whenever people see even a little bit of traffic, they'll simply zoom up and fly away then who will handle the traffic)
*us smirking at each other*
AD : "Accha yeh batao tumhari koi gurlfraand hain kya?"
(So tell me, do any of you have a girlfriend)
Us : *stare at each other awkwardly*
"Nahi bhaiyya, hamari koi gurlfraand nahi hain"
(No, we don't have any girlfriend)
AD : "Accha, acche khandaan ke lagte ho."
(You seem to come from a good family)
Us : *slightly concerned because of that moral responsibility of explaining things to the less literate so as to remove the stigma associated with dating that's perpetuated throughout society*
"Arrey uncle aisa thodi hain. Jo girlfriend rakhte hain woh bhi toh acche khandaan se hote hain."
(Uncle, it's not like that. Those that have a girlfriend can also hail from good families)
AD : "Arrey humne bohot dekha hain. Yeh girlfriend toh chhodo humne ameer logo ko dekha hain. Yeh iski biwi ko ghumata hain woh iski biwi ko ghumata hain. Roz nayi aurat leke aate hain maano test drive pe aurat le jaa rahe ho."
(I have seen a lot of things. Forget girlfriends, I have seen these rich people taking others' wives out while others take their own wives out. They get a new 'woman' everyday as if they're taking cars out for test drives)
Us : *awkward stares*
"Ok"
AD : "Hum ek baar x jagah se ek ladke aur uski dadi ko leke gaye the. Utarte utarte ladka aurat ko chumma deke bolta hain jaanu kab milogi. Aur woh nani ki umar ki thi uski maano."
(I had a boy and a lady passenger once. While getting down, the boy kisses her and says "Darling, when will we meet again?" She was his maternal grandmother's age!)
Us : "Arrey but ladka aur ladki jab ek umar ke hote hain tab dost toh ho sakte hain na zaroori thodi hain girlfriend-boyfriend hone chahiye"
(But a boy and a girl, especially of the same age can be friends right. It isn't necessary they are dating)
AD : *takes personal offence at the statement and turns around, much to our fright*
"Nahi. Aisa ho hi nahi sakta. Tumhari koi aisi dost hain kya?"
(No, it's impossible. Tell me, do you have a female friend?)
Us : *the living daylights scared out of us by his sudden turning around from the steering*
"Bhaiyya aap aage dekho please. Haan meri dost hain. Teen saal se. Best friend hain meri. Maine kabhi usko girlfriend jaise nahi dekha. Woh toh behen jaisi hain."
(Please watch where you're driving. Yes, I have a friend. She's been my best friend since three years and I've never looked at her that way)
AD : "Yeh toh isliye kyunki tum use behen bana ke rakhe ho. Tumhari girlfriend hoti hain toh dekho tum use khilaoge pilaoge ghumaoge fir chumma chaati karoge aur fir thokoge.Hum gaav mein apni
ladkiyo ko isliye hi jaldi byaah karwa dete hain.Fir thoko jisko thokna ho."
(That's only because you look at her as a sister. If you didn't you would have considered her as a girlfriend. You would have gone out on dates, kissed her, and finally had intercourse. This is why we marry our girls off early in the villages. Then you have sex with whoever you want)
Us : *stunned silence at the crass way he put it*
"But uncle shaadi ke liye koi pasand toh hona chahiye na aise kaise shaadi kar lenge."
(But uncle, don't you need to like someone in order to marry them?)
AD : "Pasand ka kya sawaal hain. Yeh sab dhandha tum shaadi ke baad hi karo isiliye toh shaadi karwa dete hain."
(Where's the question of liking. It's only the intercourse that you can do after marriage which is why we marry them off)
Us : *so speechless that we don't even know how to react*
"Uncle aaj kal aisa zamaana nahi raha. Aaj kal ki ladkiyo ki apni zindagi rehti hain"
(It is not like that today; girls lead their own lives)
AD : "Aisa hi hain. Tumhe pata nahi humko sab malum hain. Jab aurat thukwa ke aati hain humko unki shakal ki chamak se dikh jaata hain. Aur jab pehli baar karti hain tab neeche newspaper rakho aur dekho .... "
(This is exactly how it is. We know everything in the villages about how a woman glows after doing it and *reference to hymen rupturing during the first time*)
Us : *disgusted, horrified and scared as to what we'd gotten ourselves into at this point and worse yet at the notion that this was actually prevalent in society even today*
AD : "Tumhe Vishwamitra pata hain? Bade sadhu the. Unko bhi Meneka karke macchwaari ne apne tan ki mehak se phusla ke hawas ki aag se bhadka diya aur fir woh jhupdi mein usko thok liye. Jab bhagwan bhi nahi seh sakte toh tum kaun hote ho bolne wale."
(Did you know who Vishwamitra was? He was a great saint. A fisherwoman called Meneka seduced him and they did it in a hut. Now if even God cannot resist this then who are we to talk about it)
Us : *deciding this was beyond saving, having almost reached our destination*
"Accha. Okay."
AD : "Isliye hum kehte hain ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi reh sakte. Woh hawas ki aag jab bhadak jaati hain seene mein tab sab bhai behen kaun kya hain bhool jaate hain. Iske baare mein toh humein apne baap tak pe bharosa nahi."
(That's why I say that a boy and a girl can never be just friends. When that feeling of lust takes over there is no looking at who is the brother and sister or friend. I would not even trust my own father if he says so)
Us : *alighting at the destination, sarcastically* "Aap RSS se ho kya?"
AD : "Haan tumko kaise pata?"
To clarify, this is not with any political agenda in mind.
I don't know what is going on in our country. I'm pretty sure most of you don't either. This was an enlightening experience as to how the rest of India thinks. We call ourselves a modern, progressive society yet a vast proportion of the populace have regressive beliefs that are (more often than not) based on falsehoods and misconceptions. As long as we don't propagate our 'modern thoughts' we claim we have to all these less literate proponents and clarify their misgivings, I doubt we will be able to get very far as a whole. I understand times are changing but this was just a very rude shock back to reality for me. I really believe India is moving ahead and we will most definitely get past a lot of orthodox mindsets that have already been abandoned. This was just an experience I thought I should share so we know what sort of people we could be dealing with in life.
"Yeah, Bill Gates allegedly had been having a flying car designed for himself since years now."
"Dude that'd be insanely cool."
"Yeah....but who'd give him a license? Think about it. Wouldn't he need to be a pilot instead of a driver's license?"
And in the middle of this intellectual discussion our dear auto driver butts in,
Auto Driver : "Humne suna hain Reliance bana raha hain flying car"
(I've heard Reliance Industries is building a flying car)
Us : "Accha? Humne to aisa kuch nahi suna?"
(Is that so? We've never heard anything about this)
AD : "Haan tumhe pata nahi woh pacchees crore mein nikalne wale hain gaadi. Par fir beta problem ho jayegi, fir traffic kaun sambhalega. Jab bhi saamne koi gaadi aayegi apna toh bas uda ke le jaana hoga."
(Yes, you know nothing; they're going to launch it at about INR 25, 00, 00, 000 but we will have a lot of problems then. Whenever people see even a little bit of traffic, they'll simply zoom up and fly away then who will handle the traffic)
*us smirking at each other*
AD : "Accha yeh batao tumhari koi gurlfraand hain kya?"
(So tell me, do any of you have a girlfriend)
Us : *stare at each other awkwardly*
"Nahi bhaiyya, hamari koi gurlfraand nahi hain"
(No, we don't have any girlfriend)
AD : "Accha, acche khandaan ke lagte ho."
(You seem to come from a good family)
Us : *slightly concerned because of that moral responsibility of explaining things to the less literate so as to remove the stigma associated with dating that's perpetuated throughout society*
"Arrey uncle aisa thodi hain. Jo girlfriend rakhte hain woh bhi toh acche khandaan se hote hain."
(Uncle, it's not like that. Those that have a girlfriend can also hail from good families)
AD : "Arrey humne bohot dekha hain. Yeh girlfriend toh chhodo humne ameer logo ko dekha hain. Yeh iski biwi ko ghumata hain woh iski biwi ko ghumata hain. Roz nayi aurat leke aate hain maano test drive pe aurat le jaa rahe ho."
(I have seen a lot of things. Forget girlfriends, I have seen these rich people taking others' wives out while others take their own wives out. They get a new 'woman' everyday as if they're taking cars out for test drives)
Us : *awkward stares*
"Ok"
AD : "Hum ek baar x jagah se ek ladke aur uski dadi ko leke gaye the. Utarte utarte ladka aurat ko chumma deke bolta hain jaanu kab milogi. Aur woh nani ki umar ki thi uski maano."
(I had a boy and a lady passenger once. While getting down, the boy kisses her and says "Darling, when will we meet again?" She was his maternal grandmother's age!)
Us : "Arrey but ladka aur ladki jab ek umar ke hote hain tab dost toh ho sakte hain na zaroori thodi hain girlfriend-boyfriend hone chahiye"
(But a boy and a girl, especially of the same age can be friends right. It isn't necessary they are dating)
AD : *takes personal offence at the statement and turns around, much to our fright*
"Nahi. Aisa ho hi nahi sakta. Tumhari koi aisi dost hain kya?"
(No, it's impossible. Tell me, do you have a female friend?)
Us : *the living daylights scared out of us by his sudden turning around from the steering*
"Bhaiyya aap aage dekho please. Haan meri dost hain. Teen saal se. Best friend hain meri. Maine kabhi usko girlfriend jaise nahi dekha. Woh toh behen jaisi hain."
(Please watch where you're driving. Yes, I have a friend. She's been my best friend since three years and I've never looked at her that way)
AD : "Yeh toh isliye kyunki tum use behen bana ke rakhe ho. Tumhari girlfriend hoti hain toh dekho tum use khilaoge pilaoge ghumaoge fir chumma chaati karoge aur fir thokoge.Hum gaav mein apni
ladkiyo ko isliye hi jaldi byaah karwa dete hain.Fir thoko jisko thokna ho."
(That's only because you look at her as a sister. If you didn't you would have considered her as a girlfriend. You would have gone out on dates, kissed her, and finally had intercourse. This is why we marry our girls off early in the villages. Then you have sex with whoever you want)
Us : *stunned silence at the crass way he put it*
"But uncle shaadi ke liye koi pasand toh hona chahiye na aise kaise shaadi kar lenge."
(But uncle, don't you need to like someone in order to marry them?)
AD : "Pasand ka kya sawaal hain. Yeh sab dhandha tum shaadi ke baad hi karo isiliye toh shaadi karwa dete hain."
(Where's the question of liking. It's only the intercourse that you can do after marriage which is why we marry them off)
Us : *so speechless that we don't even know how to react*
"Uncle aaj kal aisa zamaana nahi raha. Aaj kal ki ladkiyo ki apni zindagi rehti hain"
(It is not like that today; girls lead their own lives)
AD : "Aisa hi hain. Tumhe pata nahi humko sab malum hain. Jab aurat thukwa ke aati hain humko unki shakal ki chamak se dikh jaata hain. Aur jab pehli baar karti hain tab neeche newspaper rakho aur dekho .... "
(This is exactly how it is. We know everything in the villages about how a woman glows after doing it and *reference to hymen rupturing during the first time*)
Us : *disgusted, horrified and scared as to what we'd gotten ourselves into at this point and worse yet at the notion that this was actually prevalent in society even today*
AD : "Tumhe Vishwamitra pata hain? Bade sadhu the. Unko bhi Meneka karke macchwaari ne apne tan ki mehak se phusla ke hawas ki aag se bhadka diya aur fir woh jhupdi mein usko thok liye. Jab bhagwan bhi nahi seh sakte toh tum kaun hote ho bolne wale."
(Did you know who Vishwamitra was? He was a great saint. A fisherwoman called Meneka seduced him and they did it in a hut. Now if even God cannot resist this then who are we to talk about it)
Us : *deciding this was beyond saving, having almost reached our destination*
"Accha. Okay."
AD : "Isliye hum kehte hain ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi reh sakte. Woh hawas ki aag jab bhadak jaati hain seene mein tab sab bhai behen kaun kya hain bhool jaate hain. Iske baare mein toh humein apne baap tak pe bharosa nahi."
(That's why I say that a boy and a girl can never be just friends. When that feeling of lust takes over there is no looking at who is the brother and sister or friend. I would not even trust my own father if he says so)
Us : *alighting at the destination, sarcastically* "Aap RSS se ho kya?"
AD : "Haan tumko kaise pata?"
To clarify, this is not with any political agenda in mind.
I don't know what is going on in our country. I'm pretty sure most of you don't either. This was an enlightening experience as to how the rest of India thinks. We call ourselves a modern, progressive society yet a vast proportion of the populace have regressive beliefs that are (more often than not) based on falsehoods and misconceptions. As long as we don't propagate our 'modern thoughts' we claim we have to all these less literate proponents and clarify their misgivings, I doubt we will be able to get very far as a whole. I understand times are changing but this was just a very rude shock back to reality for me. I really believe India is moving ahead and we will most definitely get past a lot of orthodox mindsets that have already been abandoned. This was just an experience I thought I should share so we know what sort of people we could be dealing with in life.
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